


Bhaalspawn Paradise

by Silrana



Category: Baldur's Gate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-26
Updated: 2010-04-26
Packaged: 2017-10-09 04:28:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/83061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silrana/pseuds/Silrana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With apologies to Weird Al and Coolio.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bhaalspawn Paradise

As I walk through the dungeon where I kill and I maim  
I take a look a look at my sword and realize it's very plain  
But that's just perfect for a Bhaalspawn like me  
You know I shun showy things like notoriety

Very early in the morning I'm freeing slaves  
Hearing Anomen spout dialogue he got from Dave – fool  
But I've been hackin' and slashin' so long that  
Even Minsc and Boo think my mind has gone

I'm the Spawn of the Gods, I'm into higher things  
Got a longsword in my hand and a pouch full of rings  
But if I finish all of my quests and you finish thine  
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1369

I have spent too much of life  
Living in a Bhaalspawn paradise  
I've spilled blood once or twice  
Living in a Bhaalspawn paradise  
Preventin' drowish sacrifice  
Living in a Bhaalspawn paradise  
We sell arms at discount price  
Living in a Bhaalspawn paradise

A little boy gave me a new quest last week  
And I smiled at him, and said that I would seek  
The time to get to it, though I wish him well  
He'll still be in the street while I'm slashing through Hell

But I ain't never turned a quest down even if it deserved it  
Miss out on those XP? You know that's unheard of  
Went up against a dragon that was filled with hate  
Now my homies agree I really look good in plate – fool

If you come to Athkatla bring plenty of gold  
The merchants are greedy and the thieves are bold  
And they ain't really saints so watch your back, beware  
They'd all slit your throat without a care.

There's no spells, no scrolls, no sorcery  
All magic's underground  
But like anything illegal  
We know where it can be found

I have spent too much of life  
Living in a Bhaalspawn paradise  
We're just plain adventurin' guys  
Living in a Bhaalspawn paradise  
There's some time for sin and vice  
Living in a Bhaalspawn paradise  
Dave-approved nookie sure is nice  
Living in a Bhaalspawn paradise

Hackin' up beholders, choppin' up mind flayers  
Killed a dragon one day, another I'll be the Slayer  
Think you're a kick-butt Bhaalspawn?  
Think you're full of power?  
Well I know I'm a million times  
Stronger than you are

I'm the power player all the Bhaalspawn wanna be like  
With my sword day and night  
Doin' what I want with my own life  
Don't be a pain like Sarevok  
Or else my sibling I might have to also clean _your_ clock

I have spent too much of life  
Living in a Bhaalspawn paradise  
Makin' out with a Helmite  
Living in a Bhaalspawn paradise  
There's so many monster fights  
Living in a Bhaalspawn paradise  
But endin' this game really bites  
Living in a Bhaalspawn paradise


End file.
